2011 Marriage Conference Testimonies

How can we ever say thank you... Stonegate!
We attended your conference this weekend and it was so awesome. I want to say a huge thank you for the commitment to each of you at Stonegate for the M and M Conference. The resources that you as a body of believers have committed to this conference is mind blowing. I have found it very difficult to speak to anyone from Stonegate without starting to cry. I am not sure any of you understand the lifelong changes that have come from so many couples because of your ministry.

Also, I have never felt the love of Christ and God as I have felt from this weekend on your campus. I feel the friends we have made are so special....Scott and Sara Miller, our small group facilitators were awesome - I felt an immediate connection with Scott and felt so comfortable sharing my life with them; Laura Cotton, who greeted us at the hotel was very sweet and answered so many questions; Susan Noll - what can you say, she kept everything decorated and beautiful; Judy McDaniel was an awesome person, help and available for anything; Tyler and Baily who lead worship... AWESOME; Celest Rogers - who helped coordinate the lunches and ALL THOSE THAT COOKED and prepared the food; Sarah Yuhaes - coordinated the volunteers,

Lisa Bounds - who transformed the middle school building to a BEAUTIFUL environment; Bill Yuhaes - totally awesome MC...and so funny and full of love; Julia who set up the group to sew the bags; Kara Browning - ALL the Details... AWESOME.... Pastor you are a wonderfully blessed man and you are full of compassion and love, and finally Mike and Stephanie...my eyes tear up when I think of you... you are helping people heal, love one another, and most of all serve our wonderful Lord and Savior.

My wife and I LOVE each of you and so many more we were unable to get your names. Please forgive us.
Participant, Missouri

 

I want to express my deep appreciation to you, your staff, and Stonegate Fellowship for the incredible CPM marriage retreat. I have to admit I came with low expectations and my wife and I were unsure whether or not we should attend a conference like this one or a more general marriage conference. However the Lord had different plans for both of us.

We were both impressed with Patrick's sermon and even more excited about the "public conversation" with between you and Stephanie. We also needed your Saturday talk about the subject we have had significant problems with in the past.

It goes without saying that Stonegate rolled out the red carpet for us. All of the volunteers were gracious and accepting. There was not even a hint of prejudice regarding our unique problem. I want to especially give recognition to Dean and his wife. Not only were they gracious volunteers but let our small group with an attitude of "were are in the same boat". After being segregated by so many churches, especially by those who do not struggle, it was quite refreshing to be around such a kind and honest couple. Also, please tell Dean that we are intellectual equals. He will know what that means!

Thank you Mike for all your hard work. God is moving at Stonegate and you are right in the middle of his will.
Participant, Texas

 

We were SO blessed by the time in Midland! We plan to make this an annual event. It is such a joy to be part of this - esp. as God has brought it to life through you and Stephanie - and we love you all so much. What encouragement, fun and walking together. Thank you both so much for making this possible for all of us. Our cups are overflowing with Him! For ourselves and each other!! With great appreciation and love for you all! Again, thank you for an amazing weekend!
Participant, Tennessee

 

Thank you so much Mike! We are so amazed at what God has done and is doing in our life and I'm so thankful for y'all and your ministry. (y'all is now a permanent part of my vocabulary ;-) )

I've experienced such huge dynamics in the past two weeks. From suicidal depression to overwhelming joy, from living in darkness to a flood of bright light, and from the depths of despair to being totally covered in God's grace. God has been magnified and made more clear than I have ever seen him....I don't want to let this fade.

I don't know that you can ever fully understand the impact that your work is having in so many people's lives. We've experienced a true miracle this past week. Thank you for allowing God to use your life in such a huge way.
Participant, Nebraska

 

"Thanks so much!! We enjoyed ourselves so much and can't wait to see how God will use this past weekend to better our marriage and others!!
Participant, Tennessee

 

Dear Mike & Stephanie & CPM & Stonegate Family! A Victorious Day To All! It was a fulfilling experience, again being with your group at CPM. We're growing in so many ways, learning more from you especially in the area of walking in obedience to God's will. Truly, acceptance of who we are, what and how we've been is the key to recovery. God's Word never changes; but it changes our lives everyday as we walk with Him.

You are always remembered in our prayers. Your labor in the Lord will never be in vain and what ever you've sown in our lives will bring great harvest of souls in your ministry. To God be the glory forevermore! Pastor Mike and Stephanie we love you and your family and staff. We also love Pastor Patrick Payton and the Stonegate family. We really miss you all. Thank you very much!
Participant, Philippines

 

We arrived safely back into town (Shreveport) this evening about 5:45 after a long, windy drive. Spending all those hours in the car with my wife was pure joy; something I could not say on the way there. For the first time in 25 years, we are speaking with a level of comfort and love that I really wasn't sure could ever happen; we're even talking about sex. I am watching my beautiful bride begin to blossom. This is thanks to the ministry we received this past weekend. As I told you yesterday, God has led me to levels of freedom in the past three years that I did not think were even possible, but the more free I became the more I realized how wounded (battle-ravaged) my wife was because of my actions and neglect. To see the healing that has already taken place in her and between us is beyond words.

Thank you so much for all we received. Even though we have no support here whatsoever, I realize we have each other and that is more than a start.
Participant, Louisiana

 

I have so much to share about this past weekend that I don't even know where to begin. How about I just say: AMAZING!! Absolutely amazing.

We returned home completely exhausted, but in a good way. We've never felt so much love, acceptance, and unconditional support. The people from Stonegate Church loved on us with pure southern hospitality. It was such a treat to be served and loved for who we are. The speakers fed our souls spiritually and emotionally with great insight and teachings. One of the best parts of the weekend was meeting 70 other couples JUST LIKE US. We shared together, laughed together, and cried together. They've walked the same exact journeys. They have experienced the same fears, heartaches, and victories. And this was all done without wearing any type of mask or facade. We were all completely and utterly real. We feel this past weekend was a small glimpse of heaven.

Another huge blessing was being with our mentor couple. They soaked up everything like sponges. They told us they've never experienced a community of believers like Stonegate...who are living out what Christ has called the Church to be like. Our mentors laughed and cried alongside us, and now have an entirely new perspective of just how difficult our journey has been. And the most exciting part? They now have a huge heart and burden for this issue. They want to join with us to approach our church about beginning a ministry. And because of their lay-counseling role they already have with our church, they will bring new insight and experience to the table. We know it's still going to take some time to get something officially started at our church, but it's the most amazing feeling to know we have two people in our corner who are getting our backs, loving us unconditionally, and standing with us through this journey.

The weekend was also a massive encouragement to my husband and me. He was able to hear from other husbands that they struggled just like him. And I heard other wives say some of the same things I've said. We both walked away from the conference realizing that in this world of SSA struggles, we're completely normal. And in a society that has such a horrible stigma associated with SSA, it was a tremendous relief to realize our problems are just like the other couples' problems. 

Lastly, we absolutely loved being able to connect with other couples. We've exchanged contact info and we're already in communication with some of them. We now have other people in our lives that can join us on this journey, because they're already on it too!

And yes, we're already making plans to return next year.
Participant Spouse, California

 

The conference was a complete answer to prayer and has helped get our journey started off on the right foot. We feel so blessed to not only have you and the church but also all the new contacts and friends, true friendships, that were developed over the weekend.

One prayer request we have would be that while we were down in Midland getting equipped, my family was back in McCook stewing about the situation. We will have to speak with them shortly and are meeting with an area Pastor and his wife on Wednesday night to tell them our story.

It's so encouraging to know we are not fighting this battle alone; that we have prayer warriors on our side, battling on our behalf. The attacks are great, even now.

Spouse Participant (found out about her husband one week before the conference), Nebraska

I can't imagine how tired you, Stephanie, Kara, and all the other volunteers are after the weekend conference, but we certainly appreciate all of your hard work and giving hearts.

We left this year's conference with so much HOPE. Hope for further healing, yes, but hope that bubbles up for the future, for our (the participants') children (that they wouldn't have to experience the pain we've experienced through the years), and for the Church as a whole. We were talking yesterday as we drove more-familiar roads to pick up our son - it seems to us that SGF has nailed what it means to live out Micah 6|8 - to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God.

Those who are in the church and dealing with SSA, as you know, often don't experience justice or mercy. Justice is done on our behalf as SGF takes a stand for what's right and treats people lovingly. Mercy was all over the provisions, the gifts, the food, the teaching - everything. It was tangible, but not just through the physical provisions - in the loving words, caring touch, and healing hugs. And SGF is walking humbly with God - by serving in such an amazing manner and being taught by those who are often marginalized.

We'll write a note to Dean & Terri personally, but of all the things that ministered to my husband this weekend, he said being hugged by Dean was at the top of his list. That is walking humbly with God and it has healed another part of my husband's heart.

You guys are amazing - we are SO grateful for all y'all. :) Our lives would be so much poorer if we weren't walking this out with you.
Spouse Participant, Arizona

 

A quick e-mail cannot do justice to thank you and Stephanie as well as the Stonegate family for our experience at the Crosspower conference. The time, effort, and financial impact that this conference took for you guys to put on was extremely evident. My wife and I were greatly impressed by the servant hearts of the volunteers at Stonegate. Seeing smiling faces, and not being able to see right past a fake smile was great. It was awesome to see how the Lord has worked in the hearts of the people of Stonegate to serve others with the genuine joy of the Lord, not out of duty or requirement.

We loved the fact that the focus of the conference was not 'the issue' but the true issue of knowing God and experiencing Him move in our every day lives. One thing that I learned is how I had limited the power of God in my mind. I learned that God truly is all powerful, and limiting Him to be powerful in certain areas, not including my struggle, was holding a view of God that was incorrect.

I could go on and on. We have made lifelong friends, and the CPM conference has possibly become the best memory of my life...it scares me just saying that, but I am really starting to believe it! I had a chance to experience God in a whole new way as I gathered with a group of people who were desperate to know God and to see Him honored in their lives.

Keep serving the Lord like you so faithfully have done for years. You have blessed us without expecting anything in return, and the impact of the gospel on our lives, via the CPM conference, has been life-changing.
Participant, Florida

 

What an amazing weekend. I am so glad I came this year. Last year was amazing but there was something different about the conference this year.

Four of the couples that came with us were first timers and their lives were changed. All four of them separately told Carrie and I that they were overwhelmed at the amount of love that they felt from Stonegate. One spouse said that she felt like she could grab the love in the air and hug it. I agree.

Praise God for Caleb and Ashley for giving their testimony. One couple from our group was sitting with Carrie and I that night and they both wept openly. That moment of testimony sealed their marriage. They were visibly different the rest of the weekend. I like to refer to them as our miracle couple. The wife was coming to the table to ask for a divorce and God changed her heart when she laid eyes on her husband and she said, "I'm coming home." Talk about rejoicing.

This is what you guys were meant to do. I am blessed to have been a part of it. Being single, at that, I have a lot of tools now in my tool box for future use of which I am believing God for. Thanks for allowing us I to be a part of the conference. We both love you and Stephanie so.
Mentor, Florida

 

To all of you who made these past few days so beautiful…thanks! Lynn and I were blown away by all of you and your hunger for personal intimacy with the Father. It was touching to hear your stories and to see how God continues to work in all of us to take our junk and make something beautiful out of it. I am reminded of the words of an old Gaither song:

"Something beautiful, something good,
All my confusion He understood.
All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife,
But He made something beautiful of my life."

Same idea of Tyler and Bailey's song: "You make everything beautiful…" I loved the chorus but can't remember the exact words right now.

You guys were so real and so loving. Thanks!
Mentor, Texas

 

Mike, staff, volunteers, all the body at Stonegate; I cannot express the blessing clear enough and deeply enough in these few feeble words how blessed my wife and I were through your ministry, we were blown away, (IThess 1:8-9) The Lord's message rang out from you in Midland because of the reception you gave us. We were rejoicing and weeping and growing and worshiping from the moment the MC was moved to tears by the same great God and love we were experiencing. As a pastor I was especially encouraged to see the body function the way I read about in Scripture. My wife and I came as mentors from a small church in northern Mn and we felt like we were the ones being mentored, shepherded, discipled, built up, strengthened, challenged and encouraged. All this was because you made it possible for us to be there in the first place with your financial gifts. We could not have come without the financial support. But as a result of our being their and your gracious giving and ministry; many with be blessed because of our growth in the Lord because of His grace to us thru you.
Mentor, MN

 

My husband and I were extremely blessed to be a part of this year's conference. We would like to thank CPM for covering our costs as mentors making it possible for us to attend when we would have otherwise not been able to. I am still overwhelmed by this generosity.

The Lord began working on our hearts the very first day and did not let up! We will be processing through all the things the Lord revealed to us for months to come. However, I wanted to share one thing that seemed to be a repeated whisper to my heart and that is simply - you are never without an opportunity or the ability to show God's grace to your spouse.

Thank you to all the volunteers and staff! Your hospitality, generosity, and service where truly a blessing.
Mentor, MN

 

Wow!  What a special blessing the conference was!  It was a place where the issue that brought us there was not pounded into the ground nor were we beat up for it, but it was a safe place where our eyes were turned to Jesus--the only One we need--and where our marriage was given hope and help (real practical help) in the midst of our issues.  It was a safe place to heal and move forward in our journey--not looking to an end but to the One who carries us each step.

Before we came, we feared it would drag up a lot of the pain and hurts of our journey, but our fears were unfounded.  You picked us up where we are now and gave us practical help right were we are.  Thanks for being sensitive to the Spirit as you plan each year.

The food and snacks were ALL so wonderful!  We especially liked all the fruits and veggies offered at break time (since we were on a diet :).

You ALL are amazing!  I wish I could say "Thanks" to each one personally.  You made us feel like kings and queens!  May the Lord richly bless each of you as you have richly blessed us!

Spouse Participant, Texas

 

We do not know where to begin to tell you how grateful we are for all the love and compassion you and the staff of Stonegate gave us and all the participants at this years conference.  We came this year anticipating what we experienced last year and even told our mentor couple who came with us what to expect, well we assumed wrong, nothing was the same as the year before expect for all love we received from everyone we came in contact with. 
This year’s conference was by far better then last year’s which was our 1st conference.  When we arrived last year at the conference we were only about 1 month into our journey, we were confused, scared and very sad.  We spent most of the conference crying and wondering what was going to happen, and were do we go from here.  By focusing so much on our tears and fears we missed out on alot of the messages given during the conference and went home not knowing what was going to happen or if we would even stay together.  By the Love and Grace of God and our willingness to fight for our marriage, we made it through the year and were able to attend this year’s conference. 
This year we still shed some tears, most of them were of joy, but some of them were of sadness from past memories.  This year we learned so much more about ourselves and each other, and most importantly how to have a discussion with each other about SSA.  Our biggest struggle over the past year was not knowing how to talk to one another about SSA in times with temptations and struggles. 
We also learned that this is all part of God's wonderful plan for us.  This is not a punishment towards us but yet a gift, so that we maybe of help for others who struggle with SSA.  Until this past weekend I held the biggest resentment towards my cousin for all the sexual abuse he put me through as a young child through my teenage years, and for making me the way I am and giving me all the same sex thoughts I have.  Yes I believe that if he would have never  done what he did to me as a child and taught me the things he did, I would not be struggling today.  On the other hand if he did not do what he did, we would not be were we are today and would have never have been given the opportunity to be blessed by all the wonderful people we have been blessed by at Stonegate and CPM.  I let go of that resentment this weekend and forgave him for what he has done for me. I am starting to look back and beginning to say I would not have changed a thing. 
This year besides coming home feeling very full from all the wonderful food that was provided to us over the weekend, we left feeling a sense of  love and great hope for our future and our marriage.  Yes we still shed some more tears when we had to say goodbye for another year, but we know by the Grace of God and the fellowship of CPM and Stonegate there will always be next year and during this year we have many old and new friends to contact, if it is only to say hello, or hey I need someone to talk to, another great thing CPM provided, great lifetime friends who understand.  To all of those at CPM and Stonegate who so unselfishly gave their time, love, support, and financial assistance we thank you from the bottom of our hearts and you will be forever in our daily prayers.  Until we meet again next year, may God bless each and every one of you and hold you in the palms of His hands.

Participant, Illinois

 

We cannot even begin to verbalize our gratitude for this past weekend events. Where do we begin?

The food was amazing!  The decorations were unbelievable and the overwhelming love was oozing out every pore of every person we met. From the time we were picked up at the airport until we were dropped off, we were met with people who demonstrated their love for the Lord by their service to us. 

As mentors we came not sure what to expect and received so much information and insight into our couple as well as things we can use as we counsel others.  Highlights are hard to pick since it was all great, but we found any time that you spoke, Mike, extremely insightful. We appreciate your transparency. Secondly, would be our breakout and training with the Haas's. They are truly anointed and again the transparency was a gift. We adore your Pastor, Patrick!!! We will podcast the revelation series.  Your church bookstore is enviable!  Your Executive  Pastor, Scott, amazing!  Worship was over the top! Tyler and Bailey were awesome! Truly God has blessed you!

Because I have been on staff at a large church, I know what kind of effort from staff and volunteers as well as the expense for an event such as this.  We are amazed at how this all came together and your staff from the top down and back up again deserves an ovation.  They are amazing!

We plan on coming back next year and look forward to seeing what God has for us here in Modesto as we move toward this community of people.

Mentor, California

 

By the time Sunday after worship rolled around I was overwhelmed saying goodbye to those precious people we had just met.  We considered that weekend one of great privilege and blessing as God continued His work of striping and cleansing bigotry, ignorance, legalism, and critical spirit from us.  I praise His great Name for ever setting me free from the confinements of sin and opening wide my mouth and pouring in fresh life.  Thank you for your courage in going forward.  We were blessed even at the airport in Midland as we met yet another couple and heard their story, I wept with the privilege of sharing their pain.  The couple we came with have been a continual blessing to all who know them, and God is giving them courage to expand the circle of friends who know their story, pray for us as we guide them in the painful yet liberating process of disclosure.

Mentor, Minnesota

 

This year's CPM conference was the best ever.  Thank you for the hard work that you, Stephanie and the volunteers at Stonegate put into this conference.  Your teaching on Saturday afternoon was practical, constructive, and heart-felt.

Also, thank you for allowing us the opportunity to share our testimonies and the hope that resides in us.

On another note, while driving to Austin on Monday, Barb and I commented about how much the conference has grown over these years.  The Lord has truly blessed CPM with calling hurting couples to this conference.  Word of mouth is getting out about this conference that will result in growth over the coming years.  Have you guys thought of possibly having multiple CPM conferences at other locations each year?  If you are considering this in the years to come, we'd like to talk to our church's pastoral staff and elders, Calvary Church of Santa Ana, and see if they'd be open to holding a CPM conference here in Southern CA.  We believe that the church would be open.  It also has the facilities for conducting such an event.

Participant, California

 

My husband keeps pestering me to send this note to tell you what this year's conference did in my life.  Since I can't stand nagging . . . here goes.

We have been married almost 23 years.  I was dating a woman and a man when we met.  Steven didn't think much of that (afterall it WAS the 80's)!  I certainly didn't let on to the fact that my sexuality was a great big jumbled mess!  I didn't want to scare away this great guy.  So, I pretended that I was just "having fun" waiting for the right person.  Well, it wasn't fun, but I certainly knew that Steven was the right person.  I "broke up" with my girlfriend and my boyfriend and dated Steven exclusively.  We married two years later.  I thought it was going to be a fairytale ending.

Fourteen (14) years into our marriage the bottom dropped out.  My husband went through a "mid-life" crisis that he says I cut short by acting out.  I felt abandoned and neglected by him.  He was angry and I was scared.  Long story short, I ended up having a one-night stand with a young woman.  I was so confused, I didn't know what happened, how I got so far off course.  I quickly repented and told my husband EVERYTHING and we set out to get help.  Meanwhile, the pastor of our very large church found out about my infidelity. He called Steven and told him to bring me into the office.  Verbatim: I was told to "go away and get some help, then come back to church." 

So, I went away.  I went someplace where I felt accepted.  Right into the arms of the gay community. A "Christian" counselor told me that I was gay and my husband was straight so we both should be with women.  Did I mention that I was confused?

I found the "woman of my dreams" and began a year-long affair.  My husband was fighting for our marriage (all by himself, at times).  Actually, he says that God had revealed that He would give him the Grace to fight.  ANYWAY, when I came to my senses (by the Grace of a Loving God) . . . I went to the Internet, found Exodus, we went to the conference, and attended Steadfast.  Such healing, such forgiveness, such love.  We recommitted to each other, to God and to our marriage.  That was four (4) years ago.

Fast forward.  Although, I have been "sexually pure" for over five (5) years, I felt "stuck" somehow. I continued to feel like a failure as a woman and a wife.  Although my husband knows the depth of my love for him, I felt that he deserved some "girly girl" who swooned over him.  I didn't know what was wrong with me that I didn't want to jump into bed with him everytime I saw him.  Women often tell me how "hot" he is.  This just fueled my since of inadequacy.

When Tony Shupp asked if I was a "what iffer"? Man, that set the stage.  My biggest fear was that I would leave the conference the same way I came in. NO CHANCE OF THAT! Tony reminded me that my mind is a battlefield and just because a thought "pops" in doesn't mean that I am a horrible person who hadn't really changed. I told God that night that my mind had been holding me hostage and that I was DONE with it!  Mike, it was like God said back to me . . . "it's been done for a while, YOU are just now ACKNOWLEDGING it!"

Then Patrick took care of the second part of my huge struggle.  I truly believed that I had to accept the fact that I would be a "struggler" ALL of my life. Much like "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic."  I was grateful when Patrick said that "freedom" is knowing that the struggle is NEVER in vain.  What I heard God say was, "true, true . . . but for YOU . . . the struggle is OVER!" 

It is so easy for me to preach "strength for the journey."  But, the idea that I have found a RESTING place was foreign to me.  My confused sexual identity was so much a part of me, that I was unwilling to let it go.  I was nagged by the thought, I would cease to be me if I was no longer a "struggler." 

When Patrick used Philipians 2:12-13 "continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling" . . . my mind went to (at God's prompting, I believe) Philipians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  God is working it out for ME!?! I no longer have to be in the drama, if I don't want to.  And, trust me, the WILLINGNESS to accept my healing has been difficult to come by.

Every speaker, every testimony at the conference was terrific!  We were in great anticipation when it came to the "sex talk." We were NOT disappointed! It was such a relief to hear that it is okay not to burn with ‘lust’ toward my spouse.  We also really appreciated the "Ten Things to Think About/Try", particularly, numbers 2 and 3.

My main "Take Aways" beside the fact that Stonegate Fellowship is an awesome church, with awesome servants is this:  (1) My identity is in Christ Jesus; (2) my gender identity is set because God said so (i.e., I am a woman NOT because of what I wear, how I "carry" myself, or whether I'm attracted to softness or hardness.  I am a woman because that is how God made me!); and (3) IT IS OKAY TO BE FREE!!!!!

Much love to you, Stephanie and Stonegate Fellowship.

Participant, Maryland

 

What a weekend!  As I think about it, my mind reels....and I am totally overwhelmed as to what to say.  This was our second year for attending.  Last year we attended 1 month post-crisis and were struggling tremendously.  This year we were in a better place but still struggling.  My wife says she received many of the answers/wisdom that she needed to put some final pieces of healing together.  This year, we were better able to absorb the information and better able to interact with the awesome people (attendees and volunteers).  I must stay too, that our mentors received as much if not more than we did(both years)!!  It has been so enlightening and strengthening to know we are not the only ones and we will not be defeated!!  I can honestly say our marriage is stronger than it ever has been and for that we are forever grateful to you. Although our children are only 5 and 3 years old, they too are grateful that they will not be a statistic of divorce because of your out-pouring of compassion, love, wisdom and generosity.

The Lord has His hand over you guys and it is very sweet to see that transaction in a very real tangible way...it has inspired us in so many ways!

Participant, Iowa

 

The Following is a column about the conference, written by Kenny Warkentin, a participant from Canada:

Who in their right mind would travel 5,000 kilometres to go to a marriage conference? Maybe putting it another way, who would travel 5,000 kilometres to the middle of West Texas to attend a marriage conference dealing specifically with the issue of same gender attraction?

This was one question posed to the group of nearly 160 participants who were in attendance. Participants who had travelled from across the Nation of the US as well couples flying in from Canada and the Philippines.

We did! This was our third year in attendance of the CrossPower Ministries Marriage Conference held in Midland Texas at Stonegate Fellowship. We know full well the impact that this marriage conference has had on our marriage and has given us many tools to use as we relate to one another as husband and wife. Though this conference is put on for couples who either the husband or wife (or both) struggle with same gender attraction, this marriage conference is also impacting the mentor couples that do not struggle who come down with the participants, as well, for the countless volunteers who served us.

The moment you arrive, you are served. You are served by an incredible spirit of love and humility. For those who volunteer from Stonegate, the participants are a symbol of what God can and will do in marriages submitted to Him. The lead pastor of Stonegate Fellowship made the comment addressed to the congregation on the Sunday following the conference, “who of you would travel countless miles to attend a conference primarily focused on your struggle? Who of you would attend a conference dealing with gossip, over eating, lying, envy, pride, lust?” It was one of those moments you just wanted everything to stop, to soak in those words. Truly, how many of us point our fingers or made a judgement or value statement about someone else, while we continue on, feeding our own ways of coping and medicating on our own substance of choice, to make us feel better?

It was humbling again to be surrounded by a community that loved on those of us who often have felt marginalized and fingers pointed at, or words spoken just in ear shot regarding the issues of same gender attraction. Many of these people openly express that even in their lives, they too had once humiliated those struggling with same gender, looked down upon “that issue”, rather than be Christ's hands and feet. I have not seen so many tears shed in one place by so many people humbled by the presence of the Lord, who calls us to love unconditionally, to serve, not expecting anything in return and to show kindness that goes beyond our knowledge of a certain issue.

It encouraged us, blessed us and caused us to also ask ourselves, “Who are we serving? Are there people who we may not understand that Christ is asking us to serve, not expecting anything, but just show love to, regardless?”

Jesus walked on the earth to become a personal God. He came to bind up the broken hearted, set captives free, to look after widows and orphans and to walk along side the outcast. He showed that to us, and calls us to do the same. He went to the cross to take away our shame, to make us all one with him. Sometimes we think that the ground at the cross is uneven and that some people are more accepted to be at the foot of the cross than others. Like Pastors, Missionaries, Leaders, and yet, we are all called to that place at the foot of the cross. We are all called to be there in solidarity towards one another, not with an air of supremacy over another person, rather with a knowledge that Christ invited us all there together for us to walk with one another despite our differences and struggles.

We experienced that at this conference. We got to journey with those who have not struggled with same gender issues, but who have faced many other struggles and issues in their lives and out of meeting with Christ, recognize the need to welcome and embrace those they may not understand.

Personally, it again showed me the picture of God the Father, who welcomes and embraces all of us, through the working of His Son on the cross. This incredible love for all people and once we begin to taste this love that He has for us, it should only instill a greater hunger within us to show this love to others.

May your lives reflect the love of your heavenly Father, who asks you to receive all that He has for you, so in return you may shower that love on others, especially those you may not fully understand.

May your lives reflect the love of your heavenly Father, who asks you to receive all that He has for you, so in return you may shower that love on others, especially those you may not fully understand. Well, another conference year has come and gone and we are amazed at how God continues to use You, Steph, and the "Stonegaters"
 to bring hope to marriages that the world say are hopeless. Looking back to where we were four years ago when we first came to Midland, it was the Marriage & Mentors conference that gave us hope that we could make it. It continues to be to this day the highlight of our year! We saw the hope on new faces this year and it made us so thankful that once again we were there. A great big thank you to Stonegate and everyone involved for bringing the reality of God's love and grace to a group so in need of it!! Words can't express how much we love all of you.

Participant, Florida

 

What a weekend! As I think about it, my mind reels....and I am totally overwhelmed as to what to say. This was our second year for attending. Last year we attended 1 month post-crisis and were struggling tremendously. This year we were in a better place but still struggling. My wife says she received many of the answers/wisdom that she needed to put some final pieces of healing together. This year, we were better able to absorb the information and better able to interact with the awesome people (attendees and volunteers). I must stay too, that our mentors received as much if not more than we did(both years)!! It has been so enlightening and strengthening to know we are not the only ones and we will not be defeated!! I can honestly say our marriage is stronger than it ever has been and for that we are forever grateful to you. Although our children are only 5 and 3 years old, they too are grateful that they will not be a statistic of divorce because of your out-pouring of compassion, love, wisdom and generosity.

The Lord has His hand over you guys and it is very sweet to see that transaction in a very real tangible way...it has inspired us in so many ways!

Participant, Iowa

 

We almost didn't come this year. I thought we had a good experience last year, but it opened up areas of contention in our relationship: communication, trust, our mutual brokenness, that served as a wedge between us. What I'm getting at in all this rambling is that we are glad we came back (both of us), and we had a good 5 1/2 hour ride home(not like last year). What I loved most of all was the genuineness and transparency of all the presenters & facilitators & volunteers. I hugged Melissa after church and with tears of joy, said, "Thank you for being real!" That goes for all of you.

Spouse Participant, Texas

 

Thank you very much for an amazing conference! I don't know if y'all prayed for this, but I have not experienced the usual "Conference Letdown". I am still experiencing so much love in my heart as a result of the volunteers. Having dinner at the banquet with Richard and Sissy Arrequin was like getting together with best friends. They sought us out to spend that evening with us and it really did something for me, and I felt so loved.

Priscilla and Dan were such a blessing in giving of their time and attention to make sure our stay was perfect. In the receiving of a cup of cold Diet Coke from Sonic I believe the heart of one of the wives from Jacksonville was forever transformed. Louis gave Rodney a belt off his own pants at last year's conference, and this year Louis was my prayer partner, Wow! He hugged me often and something happened......my history, that I shared in the Mentors' small group, was abuse from my dad. Things seem so much better now.

Mentor, Florida

 

The CPM conference has blessed me in many ways. Last year when I signed up to serve, I did it to try to understand same sex attraction. Being that I had recently found out that my sister was struggling, I wanted a few answers, and it seemed like a great place to get some of the answers I was looking for. Little did I know, the conference would impact me in so many more ways. The faith of the participants was one of the most encouraging things for me. When I walked in the first day last year and saw the participants worshiping with their hands held high or wrapped around their spouse it was so pure and vulnerable that I was immediately brought to tears. It really made me question if my faith is that pure and deep and if I truly give my ALL to Christ and surrender to him completely. To say that to be around the participants was an honor is an understatement. I never expected to get what I got out of the conference. I didn't get to hear all the testimonies and speakers, but I heard enough to be impacted.

This year I brought my husband with me, and it was an even bigger blessing. We signed up to serve food, but were more than honored to serve a room full of participants that are such an encouragement to us.

Stonegate Volunteer

 

Dear Stonegate Family, I truly mean it when I call you my family. You are among the very few, who know my secret. You are aware of my struggle. You've seen me without my mask of pretense that says, I am fine, thank you. And yet you did not reject me but have chosen to stand by my side and to show me unconditional love and acceptance.
We were blessed beyond the words can describe by the Cross Power Ministries marriage conference. Our blessing is the fruit of your love, prayer, compassion, devotion, sacrifice, and servanthood. The instant fruit of your investment in us is our stronger-than-ever determination to have the victory in Jesus Christ; the lasting fruit is the testimony of God's transformational work that speaks louder than words. May God richly bless you for your generosity and devotion.

Participant, Washington

 

This was our first time to be at the Conference and it was more than we could have ever imagined. We appreciated your investment in us with the plane fare and hotel cost being paid. The information shared was so encouraging and it is hard to explain to people about our experience because much of it is beyond facts and is tied in with the relationship with the whole group, volunteers, staff and attendees. We had never been to Midland before but it seems a lot closer now than it was before and it will forever be defined in our minds by Stonegate's love and service. Although the couple who we are mentoring were momentarily discouraged by the realization that their challenges will not be "fixed", they now see things more realistically and are being reminded that all of us live with things that cannot be "fixed". I have already met with a counselor to talk about our experience and share information. I have other meetings scheduled also. I will pass on the web site also and that way they can listen to the sessions for themselves. I appreciate you as my brother in Christ and the ministry the church there has taken on. You will never know how many people you have impacted and the ripples continue on.

Mentor, Missouri

 

We are back home and enjoying being back in the familiar of our home, back in the swing of ministry, and intentionally focusing on 'our marriage' to greater degrees than ever before. I just watched the online sermon and heard Patrick talk about the CPM conference (this was the 7 pm service) and I was brought to tears when he talked about the men serving.

I shared this with our small group (Eric and Ashley) and what struck me this year and wrecked me was the men serving…in greater degrees than I have noticed before. One specific incident stood out to me and I believe healed a part of me that was still hurting. We forgot to bring extra milk for our daughter (Friday night I think) and I went out and asked someone (one of the men…I think it was Wesley) and I don't know what it was but my eyes opened to see all the men around serving…and it was like God continually put men into my path, asking if I had got the milk or if they could do anything etc. When the man handed me the milk…I broke. In the simple asking if someone could get my daughter milk, God used that to minister healing to my soul. For years, I asked men to fill a need in me that was false and here, I was being served with pure and honest motives…and I spoke my need (even if it was just to get some milk) and I felt like these men bent over backwards to fill that need.

It still breaks me when I think about it…and see the image of these men caring in this manner. (and who were the guys in the red shirts who greeted us…tell them thanks…from the bottom of our hearts!)

We were deeply impacted by the weekend. We continually learn something new and refreshing for our marriage and for ourselves personally. It was also a deep honor to pray for the couples prior to the conference, and to see God move in the words He gave for the couples. Kara, I will email you the ones we did not get handed out. I think your idea to put their number on their name tag is a very good idea.

Thank you, for trusting us to pray, for allowing us to be part of this conference in a new way, and for providing for us, a way to be there financially, it truly blessed us and our mentor couple. God is doing a very good thing with the couples that came from Canada and we are so excited to see the fruit of the conference in each of our lives.

Participant, Canada

 

I'm sorry I didn't reply before but I just wanted to tell you that there are not words to express our gratitude to you, Stephanie, Stonegate people, sponsors, and all those wonderful volunteers at CPM. We have been at the Conference three times and I can see a huge difference in my marriage from the first Conference to this last one, especially in my wife (she was so scared the first time and now she is even comforting other first time wives). We admire your unconditional Christian love on supporting and helping people likes us where others may not see any value you make us feel we are worthy to you and God. If you liked it, next year we would love to make more than enough Bible verse's frames for every volunteer and help you as much as possible (just give us more time in advance please). We feel so blessed God put you in our life to make a difference for God! God Bless you and He may multiply His blessing on all of you. Thank you again!
Participant, Texas

Time hasn't allowed me to send this message until now. Even now we are on the road as I am replying to your email. The conference was such a blessing, both to us AND as I am hearing, from our mentors as well!:). Some of it was difficult, but for the most part we were truly blessed. My husband said, "Thanks for the hospitality, I felt like family." He talked with enthusiasm for 2 days when we got home.

Our family has dinner together every Monday night and my husband talked about our trip the whole time:). I think it was good for our children to hear about all the positive things and all the excitement in his voice. Coming from their dad, I believe made a world of difference.

Tell everybody we said, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I cannot say that enough. You all blessed us in so many different ways, spiritually, mentally, financially... Another quote from my husband "You showed a real servants heart for ALL that you did." I pray I will NEVER forget, WE will never forget. I don't see that happening though:). God bless you, ALL of you for all you did for us.

Spouse, California

 

We are very grateful to our church which constantly challenges us to seek the "TRUTH" from God's word. We are growing individually and as a couple because of how CrossPower weekend focuses on how to have a deeper relationship with Jesus. Even though we missed Saturday afternoon, my husband said that this was the BEST weekend ever and I have to agree. Seeing our church reach out to us and the visitors speaks volumes it is a glimpse of how HEAVEN is going to be.

We I are living a life of freedom and not disconnection from each other or from Jesus. Because of the classes and the commitment that Stonegate offers to be true followers of Jesus. We are becoming better connected as one of how Christ meant for marriage to be. Don't get me wrong we still struggle but we are now able to open and honest with each other but we also allow Christ to be the major component in our marriage. I personally never thought that I would find complete happiness in my marriage but I have and we are striving for more. Thanks for all you do.

Participant, Midland

 

just wanted to coment on the week in texas. thanks for stepping out and giving us a place to grow and yet recharge our batteries.we honestly did not know what to expect. going there on our anniversary was a concern, but it was the best choice we made...we really got a lot out of the COUPLES open share groups...at our celebrate recovery...the open share is just one sex..but to hear and feel both sides of the marriage...and multiple couples was very personal..insightful...and affirming the direction we have been feeling led in our walk...we would love to be there again.

Participant, California

 

We cannot thank you enough for including us as mentors in the marriage conference. What a privilege! I do want to highlight a few "Thank You's " so bear with me….Thank you for making us more aware of the struggle our dear friends face on a daily basis….Thank you for equipping us to help them live in hope….Thank you for helping us feel more supported as we walk through life with our friends. It is so good to know that they are loved by you….And thank you for the love that you all lavished upon everyone, including us as mentors. It humbled us, refreshed us and encouraged us to continue this journey with our friends in new strength. We needed it and did not even realize it!

God's love is seen and felt through your body of believers in a powerful way. Knowing that there are supporters who give to this ministry and getting to meet so many volunteers has encouraged me. What a sweet memory.

Mentor, Missouri